Duck Duck Cougar?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
