please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
