he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
