haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
