I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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