So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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