We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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