it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
