Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
