Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
