i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
