By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
