Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
