I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
