worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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