You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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