i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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