Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just saw a hot homeless man
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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