it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
