Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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