i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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