Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize