Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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