So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
