youre lurking in front of me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
