dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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