So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
