Kiss
Puke
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
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As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
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scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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