he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
and she was petting her beer can
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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