i just wanna soil my oats bro
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
