note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
