this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
