can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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