But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
