glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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