Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
