I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
