A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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