i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
