It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
is that a dick in a sweater?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.