Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.