I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
