I hope mine doesn't look like that
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?