just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
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WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.