Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.