Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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