I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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