i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize