Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
