I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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