Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
