now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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