she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
