meet me or not, i'm out of control
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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