they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
