I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
