I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
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he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize