allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize