help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
