In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
