There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
