Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
