we're chasing vodka with high fives
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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